What made me start running again? (and other burning questions)

1. This song. I downloaded this for my workout playlist and I just couldn't keep myself at a walk with this blaring through my speakers. Seriously, try it. Perfect cadence.
2. Laziness. "But, how can laziness make you start running again?", you ask. Simple. I am too lazy to block out/plan for an entire hour of exercise on most days. If I run and do a weights workout I can be done in 40 minutes and have sweated enough to feel like I pushed myself. (That's not to say that is what I do every day; I do crap out sometimes and just do a hill climb workout. I like to try and bargain with myself that if I don't run, that my cardio workout should burn as many calories, so I usually end up with a workout of longer duration.)
3. I honestly don't know what the impetus was that pushed me in this direction, or how long it will last. Whatever it is, I'm thankful for it. I will say that if I can get my workout clothes on and get myself to the treadmill, chances are I will break out of a walk for at least a short time, but usually it lasts for about 20 minutes.

I discovered this website while searching for new workout playlists. So far, I haven't found anything else besides #1 that I like enough to buy/download, but it's worth keeping an eye on.

I gotta be honest here...

... though I love what it does for my body and how I feel when I'm done with it, I hate running. No. I HATE running.

But, you ask, didn't you do Couch to 5K last winter, running every other day like clockwork until you graduated the program? Yes. And, you ask, aren't you signed up for a 5K right now? Like a month from now? Guilty, again. And I will follow through with that. I will train as best I can, though I will despise every single moment of it. Many people will finish in front of me. Hopefully, a few will finish behind me. And then, I can put this running nonsense behind me for good. Or, until I lose my mind again. I don't know why it took me so long to come to this conclusion. Even when I was running every other day, the only reason was that there was a finite endpoint to it. When I reached that endpoint, the motivation disappeared like a fart in the wind.

The past week, predictably, the weather's been getting nicer. I've been walking the little pup in the park, about 4 miles round trip. At the clip we walk, it's a good enough workout that I can feel the muscles in my legs twitching for several minutes after we've finished; they have that nice taut feeling without the tearing sensation in my achilles or the feeling that someone did a cannonball on my lower back. I've done a fast walk/hill climb workout on my treadmill on the days the weather or my schedule didn't agree with walking outside, and I've been just as sweaty and burned just as many calories as if I'd run the whole time. Except... I enjoyed it. I wasn't watching the clock chanting to myself, "amIdone-amIdone-amIdone-whencanIbedone-jesuschristonacrutch-it'sonlybeen5minutes." (or words to that effect)

When I'm outdoors walking or hiking.. I enjoy it. I assume I will love kayaking even more, once I get the new boat out on the water. My bike is all tuned up and ready for riding to work, or the store, or wherever I feel like riding. I guess the point is, there are so many active things I really love to do, why would I spend all day fretting and dreading and beating myself up until I half-assed eke out something that resembles running... when I HATE it?

Thursday's thoughts and fears

Well, here it is Thursday again; the day I've chosen to vomit out all of the thoughts, musings and fears that clutter my crispy brain, so that there's room once again for more important stuff, like knowing which key fits my house or how to launder my pretty panties without ruining them. 

Something struck me today as I was plundering my way through my 3 mile run. The best way I can describe it was a sense of trepidation. For what? I'm not sure. Possibly because I have a recovery day tomorrow during which I don't run. Maybe I'm afraid I'll find an excuse on Saturday not to pick it back up. In fact, I'm almost positive that's what I'm afraid of.  See, I've done this before.  Started Couch to 5K numerous times and quit.  It finally stuck last January, and I graduated the program last spring - which, don't get me wrong, is quite an accomplishment - but then I sort of just petered out from there.  It was like, "Ok, I did this. Now what?"  Without a plan, I was lost. 

I'm kind of wary that I'm setting myself up in a similar fashion by sticking this Komen 5K carrot out there on a stick in front of me.  First, make it a HoHo instead of a carrot. I'll run faster. Second, am I going to just look around, lost, after the 5K dust settles? I enjoy what running does for me.  I have been an athlete all my life and have never found anything that can condition me like running.  My legs felt strong.  I could see the muscle definition I used to have, returning.  My jeans and work pants were loose.  I had so much endurance.  At everything.  My waist thinned out.  My resting heart rate was 56.  But do I enjoy the actual running part? I don't know. Right now, while it's still painful?  No.  I seem to remember back in the latter stages of C25K when I was just running for 30-40 minutes at a time that I had sort of a love/boredom/hate relationship with it. 

I don't know what to do about that.  Maybe I'm overthinking it. Maybe a summer break from running isn't that bad, with all the other activities that go on in the summer.  However, it seems to turn into a break until I-gotta-do-it-it's-January-oh-shit-Ha!-signed-up-for-a-race-now-gotta-do-it thing.  A friend of mine who graduated C25K around the same time I did continued to run daily and is way ahead of me as far as being in condition for a race.  I sort of wish I'd have stuck to it like Karen did.  

I don't know what my goal is going to be after May, but it's clear that I'm going to have to have one.  Going to have to think about that one. 

This...

... is what DONE looks like.








Tonight, after finishing a 12 hour shift, my 10 minute trainer schedule informed me that my only obligation for today was Yoga Flex. And that was fine and dandy with me. I had blown off working out again this morning, having tried to reset my alarm in my sleep - don't try that, it never works out for the good - and barely made it to work on time.

Yesterday, my 10 minute workout schedule was Total Body (mandatory), Cardio and Lower Body (optional). The plan had been to do the mandatory one in the morning before work and do another dvd, or run on the treadmill, when I got home. All I ended up doing was the Total Body, before work in the morning. Which had some moves that I felt like I was trying to do through a coating of molasses, and the dvd chick seemed to be doing while hopped up on amphetamines and anabolic steroids and on fast forward. But I am definitely feeling it all over, so I must have indeed gotten the total body workout.

Yoga Flex was a really nice break. It's not a total walk in the park, and it reminded me that I have a really long way to go regarding flexibility. However, I would really benefit from doing this particular workout every day. There are lots of really deep hip and glute opening stretches that you hold for 30 seconds at a time - these and my pyriformis were always problem areas with muscle tightness and knots.

Also got a 20 minute run in on treadmill. I wanted to quit really badly after 10, but I kept thinking about that stress test coming up in about 9 weeks, and about how badly I want to show everyone else up.. and I kept going. Go me.

Tomorrow's menu:

• Cardio dvd - mandatory
• Abds dvd - optional
• Yoga Flex dvd - optional

I'm going to try to get all 3 in, since it's a day off.

Today..

.. was technically supposed to be a day off running, but I really felt like it. And when you feel like doing something that's good for you, dammit, you get to steppin' and you DO it.

I was planning on modifying the W5D2 workout to walk 5, run 10, repeat x1. However I got interrupted toward the end of my warmup by some hot guy walking right into my house! Luckily, he loves me so he didn't seem to be disgusted by my workout attire: sports bra, shorts and running shoes. I, personally, was mortified. By the way his eyes were fixated on my boobs, I determined that he didn't notice anything other than those 38Ds bouncing with each step.

Anyway, my workout got cut short because I had to leave soon. So I ran an easy 15. I guess I didn't get as out-of-shape as I thought on my self imposed lazyass break from hard exercise.

*sigh*

I need to start running again. I haven't gained any weight since May, which is when I pretty much stopped running every other day. In fact, I've probably lost some. But I look much... fluffier. For lack of a better term. I don't know how the hell I was doing it, getting up at 5:30am and running every other day for 30-40 minutes, then going to work for 12 hours. But damn, I felt great and was looking much more toned. I need to find a way to get my ass out of bed in the mornings and get back into that routine.