Week In Review

Another rough week, schedule-wise and life-wise. Ol' Biddy, aka Tara, made a full recovery from Much Ado About A ButtThing; I knew she had recovered when I came home to a guilty-looking dog and a half-eaten butternut squash that had been pilfered from the pantry. I snapped a picture with my phone and sent it on to Dr. Kate, my best friend and her regular vet, and got the reply, "Yep! All better!"

Ol' Biddy has had a setback again and is dealing stoically with a bout of vestibular disease. It's so hard to tell when she can't get up and walk, or won't eat or drink for two days, whether her Addison's Disease is trying to kill her, or if it is - like today's bout - a pretty benign and self-resolving thing. She had a down day yesterday, refusing to eat even cooked eggs. I checked on her this morning, in the 15 minutes I had between work and my IPMBA class, and my breath caught in my throat. For a full 10 seconds I watched her; then, the shallowest of breath. She tried to get up, splaying her legs out to try and balance, and gave up. She had a dull, resigned look in her eyes that broke my heart.

Long story short, when I came home from 8 excruciating hours in class, worrying about her, she had the classic signs: a head-tilt and nystagmus. The kind and generous owner of the veterinary practice took the time out of his holiday weekend to make a house call and confirm the diagnosis, help administer subcutaneous fluids, and chart a course of treatment. You really just don't see doctors like that any more, and Tara is lucky to know two of them.

It's actually comical now to see her look at you, head tilted to one side, right eyebrow rhythmically jerking up and down; to me it looks like she is hanging on every word you're saying. Continually, "Hmmm, dear? Hmmm, dear? Hmmmm, dear?" repeating her movements like a dancing .gif image.

So, with yet another stressful week behind me, here's the tally:

Last Sunday - ended up walking the young pup in a leisurely fashion
Monday - I did nothing, because I worked a 20 hour shift and frankly, just didn't feel like doing any more.
Tuesday - I road-ran!!!! Holy shit!! C25K W5D1 on the road. It wasn't bad, but I do remember thinking "IhatethisIhatethisIhatethis" while I was in the thick of it. Probably not great for something I want to keep doing for exercise. Road running is still an option, just not my fave.
Wednesday - I decided I needed to get a full cardio/weights workout in, but in a minimal amount of time. This led to a 20 minute run on the treadmill at 5.5mph, then Body Fat Solution Workout A.
Thursday - I was extremely sore after Wednesday's ambitious leg-heavy orgy of running, squatting and lunging, and I got my ass handed to me at work overnight Wednesday. Just for fun, I was also getting my Dish installed any time between noon-5pm. I can't nap for an hour when the sleep I am missing can be counted in days and not hours, so I did what any reasonable person who is walking-into-walls tired would do: I cleaned. Up on chairs dusting ceiling fans and corners. Down on floors scrubbing. Up the stairs. Down the stairs. Vacuum the carpets. Steam clean the carpets. Cleaning for 8 hours when I could hardly walk straight? I'm callin' it exercise.
Friday - I liked the compact workout so much I did it again. Ran 20 on treadmill at 5.3mph (feeling lazy), and Body Fat Solution Workout B.
Saturday - biked half the day in IPMBA course. Slow-speed riding is difficult. Hanging at home with the Ol' Biddy after class, so I banged out a Body Fat Solution Workout A while half-watching the House marathon.
Today - more IPMBA! More riding! If I can knock out a Body Fat Solutions Workout B after class, that's plenty for me to call it a day.

Looking ahead:
I'd like to do the cardio/weight combo 6 days a week. I just need to back off on the running if I start to dread it and sub in a hill-climb workout like I did in the past. I am starting to feel weird if I don't get my workout in; nagging thoughts nip at the edges of my subconscious all day, until I make the time and get it done.

This is a good thing.

Holding it together. Trying, anyway.

This hasn't been the best week, exercise-wise. The display on my treadmill is taking a crap halfway through my workouts, which has made regulating my pace an annoying guessing game.

I have been ambivalent about using it until I know what's wrong with it, so as a result, I've conveniently used that as an excuse to skip two C25K workouts this week.

"Run outdoors!", you say, "Just lace up your Brooks and run outdoors!"

To that, I reply, "Feh."

If you know me at all you know I'm a treadmill sissy. I'm one of those people who can run miles on a treadmill but can't get 100 yards outdoors for some reason. That "some" reason is located squarely between my ears and covered with fake highlights. Twice this week I prepared myself for an outdoor run and twice I backed out, under the guise of needing more sleep. There's a glimmer of legitimacy to that, but I've gone without that 45 minutes of sleep before and nobody has died (that I know of, or, they were going to die anyway, and that guy I ran off the road doesn't count - he deserved it).

So, yeah. I am going to try to start running outdoors like a normal person. If I do C25K workouts Saturday and Sunday I can still finish W5 on time. That will be 3 days of running in a row. (I am buying stock in Icy-Hot on my BlackBerry even as I type that.) Still doing the Body Fat Solution workouts every other day, and I really look forward to them. I am noticing that my mid-section is re-shaping and my upper body and core are already stronger, and I am seeing definition in my quads again. I am holding planks and bird-dogs easily for 30 seconds, where I could barely hold for 20 when I started a month ago. Next up, minute-long planks and bird-dogs. Eek.

So, I guess what I'm saying is... prepare for some whining. There's going to be quite a learning curve as I attempt to leave the ranks of treadmill sissies and switch teams - as it were - and learn to be an outdoor runner.

Thursday's thoughts and fears

Well, here it is Thursday again; the day I've chosen to vomit out all of the thoughts, musings and fears that clutter my crispy brain, so that there's room once again for more important stuff, like knowing which key fits my house or how to launder my pretty panties without ruining them. 

Something struck me today as I was plundering my way through my 3 mile run. The best way I can describe it was a sense of trepidation. For what? I'm not sure. Possibly because I have a recovery day tomorrow during which I don't run. Maybe I'm afraid I'll find an excuse on Saturday not to pick it back up. In fact, I'm almost positive that's what I'm afraid of.  See, I've done this before.  Started Couch to 5K numerous times and quit.  It finally stuck last January, and I graduated the program last spring - which, don't get me wrong, is quite an accomplishment - but then I sort of just petered out from there.  It was like, "Ok, I did this. Now what?"  Without a plan, I was lost. 

I'm kind of wary that I'm setting myself up in a similar fashion by sticking this Komen 5K carrot out there on a stick in front of me.  First, make it a HoHo instead of a carrot. I'll run faster. Second, am I going to just look around, lost, after the 5K dust settles? I enjoy what running does for me.  I have been an athlete all my life and have never found anything that can condition me like running.  My legs felt strong.  I could see the muscle definition I used to have, returning.  My jeans and work pants were loose.  I had so much endurance.  At everything.  My waist thinned out.  My resting heart rate was 56.  But do I enjoy the actual running part? I don't know. Right now, while it's still painful?  No.  I seem to remember back in the latter stages of C25K when I was just running for 30-40 minutes at a time that I had sort of a love/boredom/hate relationship with it. 

I don't know what to do about that.  Maybe I'm overthinking it. Maybe a summer break from running isn't that bad, with all the other activities that go on in the summer.  However, it seems to turn into a break until I-gotta-do-it-it's-January-oh-shit-Ha!-signed-up-for-a-race-now-gotta-do-it thing.  A friend of mine who graduated C25K around the same time I did continued to run daily and is way ahead of me as far as being in condition for a race.  I sort of wish I'd have stuck to it like Karen did.  

I don't know what my goal is going to be after May, but it's clear that I'm going to have to have one.  Going to have to think about that one.