Sunday, June 7, 2009

Crisis averted.

All it took was seeing my future husband in traffic, on his way home.

Had I not seen him, instead of taking the left turn lane toward home, I'd have taken the right turn lane toward McD's and had myself an unneeded Big Mac meal (with Diet Coke, of course), and some sort of dessert, maybe even two.

I didn't want to face the innocently posed question: "Where ya headed?" Of course, I could lie and say Shop N' Save... but who am I really lying to if I do that? He doesn't judge or care if I eat fast food. Hell, it's one of his favorite things. I thought to myself, "If you don't want anyone seeing you do this, especially the guy you love, then maybe you shouldn't."

Usually, when I'm planning a binge, I intentionally shut off thinking. This was new. I was thinking out loud and asking myself questions: "What is really going on here? Is it because I'm tired and craving a good night's sleep?" I concluded that this narrowly averted binge would not nearly have been as much "fun" because I had gotten rid of cable, and things like this, I always did in front of the tv. They went hand in hand. Always. It just wouldn't be the same sitting at the kitchen table.

Had I not seen him in traffic, I probably still would have made that turn, choked down that extra couple thousand calories hurriedly at the kitchen table, and went to bed feeling like hammered crap. However, as it went, what I ended up doing - going home, hugging the old dog, taking a hot bath while listening on the radio to the Pens getting totally eviscerated - and putting myself to bed ... was just what I needed.

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