Monday, July 6, 2009

Some truisms

  • If you want a really good workout, slather a ton of shea butter on your legs and go jetskiing as my fiance's passenger. Guaranteed kickass thigh adductor workout.
  • For the nursing home staff I heard whispering amongst themselves, "The medics always think it's the Ambien!" (when an 85 year old lady who rolled out of bed kept asking to go back to sleep at 1:40am). Guess what? It was the Ambien.
  • For the 23 year old kid with a history of pancreatitis: If you drink a half case of beer, it's going to really, really hurt. I believe you, it hurts. Doesn't mean I feel the least bit sorry for you.
  • The last shift before vacation will suck in direct proportion to how badly the vacation is needed and will progress in inverse proportion to same.

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