Some truisms

• If you want a really good workout, slather a ton of shea butter on your legs and go jetskiing as my fiance's passenger. Guaranteed kickass thigh adductor workout.
• For the nursing home staff I heard whispering amongst themselves, "The medics always think it's the Ambien!" (when an 85 year old lady who rolled out of bed kept asking to go back to sleep at 1:40am). Guess what? It was the Ambien.
• For the 23 year old kid with a history of pancreatitis: If you drink a half case of beer, it's going to really, really hurt. I believe you, it hurts. Doesn't mean I feel the least bit sorry for you.
• The last shift before vacation will suck in direct proportion to how badly the vacation is needed and will progress in inverse proportion to same.