The TV Drought at My House Has Ended...

And man, it's raining Dish! Hallelujah, it's raining Dish.

Honestly, I think my love affair with tv has ended. I knew last winter we were bad for each other. We'd sit there together, not even speaking or moving a muscle. I felt like I could outgrow the toxic relationship if I could only get away for a little while, but the draw, the attraction... oh, it was so strong.

In a moment of PMS-laden insanity, I broke up with tv. Much like a breakup, there was the sad picking-up-of-belongings scene, and the one last flailing attempt to resurrect a relationship that both parties know is dead: "Are you sure you don't want to just downgrade to basic so you don't have fees when you want to re-install?" The look on my face, however, confirms. It is over.

It was the best summer ever. I may have cheated a little, DVRing Hell's Kitchen at my fiance's and catching up every couple of weeks; but the relationship, it doesn't feel so ... dirty, for lack of a better word, now. I kayaked. I (holy shit!) cleaned. I folded laundry (as opposed to plucking it, piece by piece out of the dryer, until the dryer is empty and the cycle starts over). I walked the dog. I went to the farmer's market. I painted and constructed and ran. I caught up on movies, renting a Red Box when the occasional urge hit. I worked out. I. Worked. Out.

Before, tv, much like a lot of my eating habits, was something I liked to do alone. I just couldn't enjoy either with someone else around. It was like having a threesome pushed on you that you just didn't feel comfortable with in the first place. Now, sorry tv, you're the odd one out. When it's time to watch those DVR'ed shows, we're watching them together as a family, curled up on the couch, some night there is nothing better to do. Yep. You've become our Boredom Booty Call. We could take you or leave you, but we're sure as hell not going to introduce you to our friends or invite you to any of our parties.

Even with my new embarrassment of riches of channels and DVR options, I can't seem to muster the gumption to watch a single show in its entirety, unless it is providing background noise for a workout. This is stark contrast to last winter, during which I would aimlessly watch stuff I didn't even want to watch, just so that I could put off doing those annoying life tasks: You know - working out, seeing the sun, spending time with my loved ones.

Maybe it's too early to say for sure, but I think maybe now I have tv. Tv doesn't have me.

Y'know....

.... I don't really miss cable that much. At least not while the weather is nice and I'm busy.

In the past week, however, I have:

• landscaped my front yard, planted more perennials, and re-mulched
  
• mowed the grass (yes, this is bullet-worthy.. it's a very big deal when I actually get my grass cut)


• cleared a huge area at Dan's for our planned vegetable garden


• pulled all the pesky oniony weed things out of the landscaping in Dan's front yard


• taken the dog to the lake twice


• got sunburned
  
• enjoyed reading books
  
• gotten to know and love RedBox movies


• gotten all the things I need to transport the yak and get out on the water
  
• put my chairs back out on the front porch and had my morning coffee out on the porch with the old girlie

Even when I'm at Dan's, when we have the tv on it's usually a Pens game, or a Bucs game, or Palladia. LOVE Palladia. I did catch up on Hell's Kitchen, the only one I keep up with these days of the many I used to.

I'm not as twitchy as I thought I'd be. All this, and I still have jetskiing to look forward to.

*twitch*

I did something impulsive. Normally, when this happens, it affects my bottom line negatively but feels really good in the short term. Like - being able to reach that itchy spot in the middle of your back - good.

This impulsive decision, though, is more like waking up one day and deciding it's time to give up smoking crack cold-turkey. Yep. You guessed it. I cancelled my cable and had them haul away my DVR. *twitch*

Month after month, I'd look at the bill in disgust, and tell myself for one more billing cycle I'd pay it, then decide next time if I want to downgrade or cancel. I knew it was the right decision when on my last night of being a cable-having member of society, I was lying on the couch, perusing my riches of digital and HD channels, hundreds of them... and couldn't find one. damn. thing. I wanted to watch. Browsed the DVR selections... nothing to watch.

It all started when, watching a show about kids with life-endangering obesity, I commented to my fiance that I would get rid of every TV in the house before I'd see one of my kids on blood pressure medication because they're obese. I'm good at making bold proclamations like that; especially when I don't have to put my money where my mouth is. After a couple of weeks of stewing on that statement, though, I realized it's pretty damn hypocritical of me to say that. Here I am, with a good 60lbs to lose before I am at a weight that I believe would be healthy for me, a couple years from *cough*40*cough*, and my primary form of entertainment keeps my ass chained to the couch. I have expensive running shoes, an expensive treadmill, a not-so-expensive bike, and a brand new kayak, and summer is coming. Do I really have time for TV? Does the cost justify the result? For me, I decided... no it does not.

Now, before you think I have gone totally batshit nuts, I feel the need to inform you that if I'm still in the house when fall comes around, I'll hope the Comcastards and Dish Network come a callin' with some sweet deals for me to woo my ass back to the couch. I'm wondering what the effect of several months without cable will have upon me. Maybe, when fall rolls around, a time of year I refer to as "hibernation", I will have found alternatives to paying $80/month to watch a few shows I could catch online anyway.

We'll see.

*twitch*