Score.

In case you haven't tried it, this is heaven in your mouth.. without all those pesky angels flying around. If you like dark chocolate, and you like chili pepper, you will - like I did - fall foolishly, hopelessly, giddily in lust.

Like love (or lust), it can be elusive. After I tried it, it immediately set my dopamine and serotonin receptors throbbing and pulsing like I'd mainlined Ice. Then, cruelly, the high was snatched away as the last of the squares disappeared, and I couldn't find more. Dope sick, I'd trudge into the Rite Aid and the big fancy grocery store where I'd found them before. But the supply had dried up. Apparently the secret was out that this was good shit, and all the junkies were on the prowl.

For 2 weeks my every craving was consumed by thoughts of smooth dark chocolate with that characteristic afterburn. Every Lindt display was painstakingly scrutinized, my eyes, brain and very soul tunneling in on the display looking for my fix. White chocolate with coconut? Who fucking eats that?? Then my eyes settled on another Lindt display all off on its own. FULL of chili dark chocolate. The entire thing. I rubbed my eyes, thinking I was suffering a fatigue-induced hallucination (the last time this happened, I swore I saw a blue flowered wing chair sitting in the middle of a snowy highway).

This, however, was no blue flowered wing chair. This was real, and it was as if the heavens opened up and shone a sunbeam through the clouds onto the display. Like one of those velvet Jesus paintings, only with chocolate instead of Jesus. Almost chortling at my good fortune, I grabbed a handful and placed them reverently in my cart. Then my addict's paranoia overtook me again and I looked around furtively, to see if anyone else noted my good fortune.

Nope. All mine. Let's just say I won't be running out for a year or so.