I'm not all that charming at 3am.

I'll be the first to tell you that. However, I get downright nasty when I've spent my time showing you where to find any and every thing on our units. Showing you the area. Going over procedural stuff with you. And I have to stand there waiting, while you blindly tear apart the drug bag looking for the glucometer I asked for several minutes ago, while the blind diabetic guy sits there, holding out his finger to give me a sample - sometime today, I hope. Hint: the glucometer's in the same place it always is.

Here are a few tips from my soggy 4am brain to yours:

• Once I've shown you everything, it is now YOUR responsibility to keep going over this information, on your own, until you know it. You don't know where something is? Sit your ass in the truck with a checklist until you know every response bag, every cabinet. That's what I did 15 years ago, and I was just a volunteer, buddy. I wanted to know my job inside and out. You're getting paid. You'd better know it.
• I have never once seen you come in for your shift and check your truck. Perhaps if you spent a little time doing that, and less time talking on your phone, you'd know where common items are when I ask for them.
• Tuck your goddamned shirt in!
• If you see someone who is bleeding, for God's sake bandage them. Don't, for example, take all the equipment back out to the truck and b.s. with the cop at roadside, forcing me to yell out the front door for you to come back. Don't wait for someone to have to point out the obvious to you.
• Don't consistently show up late. The people who are waiting for you to get here, so they can go home to their families, are getting tired of it. I don't care if you had a late call at your other job. Schedule more time between shifts to allow for that.

I understand people get tired. I understand people have 'off' days. However, consistent, pervasive, persistent laziness.. I can't really understand that.